I love you more

Me: I love you a LOT.
K: No. A little bit!
Me: No, a lot! I love you bigger than... Jupiter!
K: I love you bigger than Saturn!
Me: I love you bigger than the sun!
K: I love you bigger than the moon!
Me: I love you bigger than INFINITY!
K: I love you bigger than THE TUB!

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Thank you, Columbus

And thank you, The Firm, for giving me my first Columbus Day off since high school. JW had to work, so there was no hope of accomplishing anything. Instead, K and I just hung out all day and did whatever our little hearts desired. We hopped a bus to Harvard Square and browsed in a bookstore for a while. We chased birds and spotted mushrooms growing. We had a picnic while listening to a guy on the street sing and play guitar. K dropped a few dollars in the guy's bucket. When I asked K if he was ready to take the bus back home, he said, "No bus! Walk along and hold my hand." So we skipped naptime. I bought him a lollipop and we wandered the streets a while longer. When we got home, we did a little gardening and had an early dinner and bedtime.

It's been so long since I had an agenda-less day. We're always rushing around trying to get things done, and I'm always herding K. Into the bath! Diaper change! Time for school! It works, more or less, but this was a much-needed holiday.

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More work lessons learned

Maybe this will be an ongoing series.

Lesson #1: Read every word (and then some).

Lesson #2: Find someone who's done it before and ask them, no matter how straightforward it seems!

I was assigned to do what seemed like a fairly simple corporate transaction. I asked the paralegal about the procedure and the appropriate forms to file, and drafted the necessary documents.

Just before filing, I called a senior associate who had done a similar transaction to ask about one of the documents. "You're doing what?" he said. Then he told me to think twice. Apparently there's some bizarre omission in the relevant state's law that allows all sorts of transactions similar to this, but not this particular one. The state will actually accept it -- which is why the paralegal handed over the documents -- but the problem is that there's no statutory authority, so the firm could never give a legal opinion saying it was valid.

So, after drafting, and making sure the requirements were met, and going over everything with the client, we had to do it in a completely different way. Which was a little embarrassing to explain to the client. (The partner, luckily, took it in stride: he said, "Well, that'll be a huge write-off, and a lesson for us.")

Moral of the story: Always ask an experienced lawyer!

Actually, there's a hidden lesson #3 in this: Don't ignore things that seem strange or problematic.

This is another one I have to keep learning over and over. I see something (like an omission in a statute) and think, well, that's weird, but I guess it's okay because [nobody else seems to think it's a problem] [it seems like you should be able to do it this way] [there's probably a perfectly good reason that I don't understand]. Besides, everybody is so busy that it doesn't seem worth bringing up something that seems so minor.

Invariably, it comes up later. Duh: we're lawyers. It's our job to sweat minor details.

Note to self: Write it down. Bring it up. (Although in this case, I actually did bring up the weirdness in the statute -- just not in a way that flagged this particular issue, which I wouldn't have been able to identify on my own.)

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Daily routine

My periodic posts describing our daily routine are probably boring for readers, but I like looking at them when I go back to my archives -- they remind me of what life was like when K was smaller. Our current routine:

5:30 a.m. - I wake up, exercise, shower, fix K's lunch if necessary.

6:30 a.m., if we're lucky - K wakes up. We hang out in bed and read books for a while, then he gets up and drinks some warm milk and we play with trains. This morning he threw a blanket over his head and chased me around the house, yelling, "Woooo! I'm a ghost!"

6:15-7 a.m. - JW wakes up, showers, goes to work.

7:15-8 a.m. - Breakfast. Usually some combination of whole grains, fruit, nuts, cheese, and/or eggs. Today it was Quaker Oatmeal Squares, pasta with beans, a mango which we shared, and a plum. (I was impressed that he ate the pasta. He asked for it repeatedly and then didn't want to eat it, but I reminded him of all the conversations we've had recently about wasting food and he wrinkled his nose and ate half the bowl. That's some serious self-discipline for a 2-year old.)

8-8:30 a.m. - Brush teeth, change clothes, try to be out the door by 8:15.

8:15-8:45 a.m. - Unless it's raining, walk or jog to school, pausing to look at cats and trucks and to say hi to neighbors. I push K in his blue car while he calls, "Go fast, Mommy! Go faster! Go faster than ever!" This morning, whenever I slowed to a walk he counted to ten and then yelled, "Ready, GO!" At school, I stow K's food in the fridge and his backpack on the hook and give him a kiss goodbye, then walk or jog home pushing the empty blue car. Invariably someone comments on how I lost my kid.

8:45 a.m. - Quick change, hop in the car, head to work.

4:30 p.m. - JW picks up K and somehow manages to make dinner. (I miss doing afternoon pickup, but I do NOT miss the stress of having to cook something healthy that K will eat while he's hanging on to my leg and whining for a snack or for me to come play trains with him.)

6:30 p.m. - I get home, on days I don't have to work late. K is usually close to done with his dinner.

7 p.m. - Bath time. K likes it when I pretend to dunk him in headfirst.

7:30 p.m. - Thomas time.

8-8:15 p.m. - Books (lately, nursery rhymes and "Go, Dog. Go!") and bed. JW comes in for a goodnight kiss, then I turn off the lights, tuck K in, sing "Rainbow Connection" and rub his back a little and say goodnight.

8:15-10 p.m. - Mommy and Daddy free time, in which dishes get done, phone calls made, meetings attended, etc. And occasionally we get to watch TV or play Beatles Rock Band.

10 p.m., if we're good - Bed.

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What gets you a date

The OKCupid blog is awesome -- it's full of statistical analysis of people's online dating behavior. Check out this dating flowchart, and this analysis of what language in an initial message gets you a reply. Then head over to Ana's blog to give her some online dating advice.

I am a little tempted to sign up for OKCupid just to get one of those flowcharts. Here are more.

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My board of advisors

Right around review time, I got a phone call from the department chair that threw me for a loop. I couldn't concentrate after that, and went around knocking on people's doors saying either, "Did you get the call?" or "I got this call... what should I do?"

I talked to a few other associates who were in the same boat, and then to some partners and senior associates who I thought would give me good advice. And I think they did. After making the rounds, I felt better -- not only about the actual issue, but also because I realized that in the short time I've been at the firm, I've built up a little panel of advisors. I think senior associates are actually the most valuable members of that panel, since they're in a position to know a lot about the firm and how it works without feeling like they need to hold back.

When I first started, one of my goals was to build an internal network. I've noticed that asking more senior people for career advice is a great way to do that -- I learn a lot from them, and it makes them feel more invested in me. In our firm, and I would guess in most firms, senior associates are in demand. If you get them on your side, their work ends up trickling down to you.

All of this sounds very calculating, and I do genuinely like and value these people. This experience just made me realize how important these relationships are for my career.

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Weekend baking

Tonight: Chocolate chip cookie dough. The trend these days is to let your dough rest for 36 hours before baking. It only took about ten minutes to mix the dough, and then I stuck it in the fridge. Done! Delayed gratification -- what a concept. I've been into the idea of having all sorts of pre-baked or pre-assembled meal components in the freezer, and this is part of my plan. After the resting time, I'll bake a few, make the rest into a log, and stick it in the freezer so that we can produce freshly baked cookies for guests.

Earlier: Popovers, second attempt. I used half Wondra flour this time, and added lots of freshly ground pepper and some herbes de Provence. They puffed up beautifully and had a perfect souffle-like texture on the inside. Unfortunately, I had neglected to grease the muffin tin. We ended up pulling the tops out and eating those, and then soaking the pan so we could scrape the bottoms down the garbage disposal. At least the tops were good. Third time will be the charm, hopefully.

Last weekend: Arepas and pajeon (Korean scallion pancake, or at least a bastardized version of one). I think I liked both of them better than JW or K did. (K, alas, rarely appreciates our cooking efforts and prefers Goldfish crackers to muffins fresh out of the oven.) Tomorrow I may try Chinese-style scallion pancakes. Also on my list: these buttermilk oatmeal muffins.

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