Magic Cookie: Pitch Perfect

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Saturday, 25 April 2009

Fish pancakes!

Posted on 14:18 by Unknown
The other day K ate two things that he has consistently refused to touch for the past two years: fish and potatoes! I planned to make cod cakes, but I'm not a big recipe-follower and the batter turned into a mess. (The use of the word "batter" to describe a pre-fish cake mixture should be a clue that something went wrong.) We decided to scoop them out and cook them on the griddle like pancakes. To entice K, JW told him we were having "fish pancakes" for dinner. (Our other technique: describing everything as a "meatball." Before the batter snafu, we were going to have "fish meatballs.") Even though we turned down K's request for syrup, the fish pancakes were a hit! I'll make these again. They tasted a bit like latkes and were good cold the next day.

Recipe: Dice 3 red potatoes and microwave 6 minutes. Dice 1 lb cod and microwave in bowl with potatoes for another 2 minutes. Mash up this mixture. In a separate bowl, mix 2 eggs, some mustard, hot sauce, Worcester sauce, S&P, and two bunches of sliced scallions. Mix everything together and cook like pancakes in a mixture of olive oil and butter.

I also made cottage cheese pancakes from one of the Moosewood cookbooks, except I used leftover ricotta instead of the cottage cheese. The first time I made them with pear, the second time with apple. I preferred the pear version -- the apples were a little crunchy, but the pears melted right into the batter. Both would be good with nuts (almond for the pear, walnut or pecan for the apple). JW liked them fine, but I LOVED them -- probably because they're one step removed from cheesecake.

Recipe (slightly modified by me): Combine 2 eggs, 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 grated apple, 1 T maple syrup, some salt, nutmeg, and vanilla in mixing bowl. Sprinkle over 1/4 c. flour and 1 T baking soda. Cook in a little melted butter.

By the way, the ricotta was left over because I made pizza rustica for Easter. Pizza rustica is a mixture of Italian meats and cheese mixed with ricotta and egg and baked in a pie crust. But I did mine in a dough ring (like a calzone, but with the ends together to form a circle) and the rest as a normal pizza, on pizza dough. The in-laws preferred the pizza, JW and I liked the ring. This was a great special-occasion meal to share -- maybe I'll make it again for Christmas.

Didn't use a recipe, but this is what I did: Bought 3/4 lb Italian cold cuts from the North End. I think I ended up using about half of them, cut up into little pieces with kitchen shears. Cut little slices of provolone and mixed it in. Add to 2 beaten eggs (or maybe 3 or 4? don't remember), about 1-1.5 cups ricotta (most recipes use a lot more), chopped roasted red peppers and spinach sauteed in olive oil with shallots and garlic. This mixture can be used in all sorts of ways to fill or top dough. With some more eggs it could be quiche-like.
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Friday, 24 April 2009

My work-life balance

Posted on 04:00 by Unknown
It's been nearly three months on the job. So far, so good.

The "work" part: I've been getting to work a little before 9 and leaving around 6. If I'm having a slow day, I leave at 5. No point in sticking around if nobody's calling and I'm going to come in the next morning with nothing to do. One or two days a week I work late, until about 10 p.m., to make up some hours.

My original plan was to leave at a reasonable hour and continue working from home after K's bedtime, but I'm exhausted by then. The occasional late nights at work have been a good alternative for me. I'd rather be totally relaxed at home and totally focused at work than mix them together and have to keep switching gears.

I am still conscious of wanting to put in my hours, so I make sure to check my work email often, including nights and weekends, and respond quickly. Work has been fairly light, so this hasn't been a big deal so far.

The "life" part: I get a few hours with K in the morning and usually a few at night. I look forward to weekend family time in a way I didn't during law school, when I would be with K for about half of his waking hours on weekdays. But I'm happy with the time we get together during the week.

JW has stepped up his child-care duties. He picks up K in the afternoon and cooks dinner. This makes me happy because even though I loved cooking pre-baby, cooking dinner for K stresses me out. Figuring out something healthy to eat, cooking while a two-year old is demanding your attention, dealing with demands for snacks, getting food on the table as quickly as possible, and then holding off a hungry kid while dinner cools -- not fun. But JW doesn't seem to mind, and he's a better cook than me anyway. (He's the cook, I'm the baker.)

So, time at work: good. Time with K: good. Of course, there's more to life.

The nights I'm home, I have about two hours at night between K's bedtime and mine (assuming I'm being good and getting enough sleep). For these two hours I choose between:
Spending time with JW
Working out and showering
Reading / watching TV / laptop time / other relaxing activity
Running errands / doing chores
Phone calls to catch up with friends and family

The first two have probably suffered most since I started working. JW and I don't get tons of "alone together" time. Some weeks we make an effort, other weeks we could try harder. As for working out, I'm often tempted to throw in the towel and just buy bigger pants. It's a big change from my leisurely law school schedule.

All of this works because:
We have reliable daycare
We're healthy
JW is very supportive and is willing and able to share household duties
We haven't both been busy at the same time.

I'll cross my fingers that all of these remain true. If not... we'll figure out how to strike a new balance.

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Thursday, 23 April 2009

The female model of law firm practice

Posted on 16:15 by Unknown
Ms. JD discusses an article about how now is the time for law firms to focus on diversity and retention. Quote from the article:
Women associates leave because they see few if any women partners who reflect a 'balance of life' success story. Instead, they see variations of the theme—the male model with lipstick. What they need to see is a sea change in attitude about part-time partnership opportunities.
Does being successful as a big-firm female lawyer mean you either have to follow the "male model" (no family or spouse at home with the kids) or work part-time (presumably, this is the "female model")? This misses the larger point about work-life balance at big firms: that almost everybody has commitments outside of work, and that allowing people the flexibility to honor those commitments goes a long way toward making them happy and retaining them.

The quote reminds me of an incident at a Career Services session with a headhunter who was telling us about the Boston market. I asked which firms had a reputation for being more flexible. "For instance, at the firm where I worked this past summer, face time wasn't a big deal, and a lot of people worked from home. Can you tell me about other firms that share that attitude?"

Her response was, "Oh, sweetie, just work as hard as you can and don't worry about working part-time right now. Maybe one day you'll decide to get married and have kids, and then you can think about that."

I was furious. (Also, four months pregnant, so the horse was out of the barn on that one.)

Part-time will always be a ghetto. It can't become the "female model."
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Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Lies My Parents Told Me

Posted on 17:18 by Unknown
So E. McPan mentioned in the comments that her parents told her they bought her at K-Mart.

My parents -- actually, it's all my mother, she's the inventive one in the family -- have told me many questionable facts over the years. The two that stick in my head are:

1. If you eat ants, you'll learn how to swim.
2. Eating off the floor is healthy, because dirt has Vitamin B12.

(The thing with my mother is that I can never tell if she believes it.)

JW can't think of any, which may explain why he's so well-adjusted.

What lies did your parents tell you?
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Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Harnessing the Power of the Mind

Posted on 13:00 by Unknown
K loves the They Might Be Giants song Hovering Sombrero. Or rather, he loves the refrain, but not the verse. To avoid demands to restart the song every time the refrain ended, JW told K that if he thought hard enough, it would come back. K thoughtfully put his hand to his chin and said, "Hmm." A minute later, he exclaimed, "It came back!" Now every time he hears the song, he does that.

JW encourages the development of K's mental powers in other settings, too. When we're stopped at a red light, he tells K to "think green thoughts." When K got frustrated because he couldn't open the trunk of the car with his hands, JW told him, "You can't open it that way. You have to think really hard. Think about opening... open... open..." "The door to the trunk is pretty heavy," I said. "Maybe we should all think open thoughts." So the three of us put on our thinking caps. K thought as loudly as he could, "HMM!" JW thought so hard that the sheer power of his brain caused his thumb to press down on the car remote in his pocket. PRESTO! K's jaw dropped and then we all started cracking up. We performed this astounding feat several times before we all got distracted by other things.

I think K understands this is a joke. If not, he'll have another item for his list of "Lies My Parents Told Me."

K thinking
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Monday, 20 April 2009

The most boring children's book ever

Posted on 10:13 by Unknown
"'En... lil bird saw... a lion. 'Hello ... Lion,' said... lil bird. 'Wha you do--'"

"HEN," interrupted K.

My eyes popped open and I saw him pointing indignantly to the picture of the hen in "Are You My Mother?" "Sorry, hen," I said, and managed to get through the next dozen or so pages without dozing off again. (In my defense, it was our fifth time through.)

Starting from about seventh grade, all my school notebooks occasionally degenerate into scribbles where I fell asleep. You can make out a few words here and there, but they are purely the result of random synapse firing.

Apparently I can not only write in my sleep, I can read in my sleep too. Is that talent or what?
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Thursday, 16 April 2009

On the other hand

Posted on 17:13 by Unknown
The logistics of having a second kid will be tough. We enjoy the relative freedom of our one-kid life. And I'm not eager to have abdominal surgery again.

But, another kid who's as awesome as K? Another kid who I love just as much, and who will have her own personality quirks, and make her own jokes, and have her own favorite books?

Sometimes that sounds really nice.

(Which is good because it will probably happen sometime within the next few years.)

And maybe if I get pregnant again, my feet will grow another quarter-size and I will fit into size 6 shoes and can shop online again.
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Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Second kid

Posted on 07:20 by Unknown
During a weekend playdate, a friend confessed that she's pregnant again. She said the pregnancy had been rough on her, but they were excited to have a second child.

JW had just asked me how I felt about a second kid. My response: "Do I want another kid? Sure, that doesn't sound so bad. Do I want to be pregnant and give birth again? NO." My friend agreed.

Actually, do I want to go through the whole first year again? Months on end of not sleeping? Never getting to sit down to a meal because you always have to spoon-feed the baby? Sore breasts and nap schedules and spit-up everywhere, trying to understand the needs of someone who can't talk, and doing all this with a toddler running around? Babies are cute but they consume you.

Maybe once K is potty-trained, the idea will sound more appealing. Or I can cross my fingers that JW has a secret second family stashed away, so K can have instant siblings and somebody else can take care of them. It would be rough on our marriage, but I'd get over it.
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Monday, 13 April 2009

Birthday recap

Posted on 08:16 by Unknown
My 31st birthday was grey and rainy, but otherwise excellent. After sleeping in (until 8 a.m.!) I found K in his crib just about to start yelling. When he saw me he grinned, lifted up his arms and said "I think I'm going to fall!" I scooped him up and brought him into our bedroom, where we played his favorite game (I stagger around while holding him in my arms, pretending I'm about to fall, and then drop him on the bed and fall down next to him).

After a while JW came in bearing gifts. He gave me a Bluetooth headset, which impressed me because I only mentioned once, a few months ago, that I wanted one. K gave me an original portrait he had made of the engines of Sodor, and pointed out each engine. The orange smear was Duncan, the blue smear was Gordon, and so on. Then we sat down to a delicious breakfast of cardamom waffles -- JW had been grinding cardamom seeds while K was hanging out in his crib -- and K, who doesn't have much of a sweet tooth except when it comes to syrup, got very sticky.

After breakfast, JW took K to our local playspace -- probably K's favorite place in the world -- while I had an extra-long workout and leisurely shower. Then I spent a few hours running errands and doing chores, partly to get ready for the arrival of the in-laws (JW's mom: "You know you're getting older when you spend your birthday making meatloaf and grocery shopping.")

In the evening JW and I headed out to Boston, where we had drinks at Top of the Hub and dinner at Hamersley's Bistro. Both were perfect except that the couple sitting a foot away from us at Hamersley's spent the entire time talking about babies and somebody else had actually BROUGHT their baby, who was understandably unhappy to be at a fine dining establishment late on a Saturday night. Luckily that baby headed out shortly after our appetizers arrived. (Probably to a bar.)

We stopped for ice cream on the way home, because I couldn't remember the last time I had Toscanini's burnt caramel ice cream, which is one of my favorite things to eat -- I was going to say within a fifty-mile radius, but it's really one of my favorite things, period.

If I had more hours in my day, I would have baked these soft pretzels and would have carried out the Harvard Square coffee-and-bookstore-browsing part of the plan that we didn't have time for. But overall, one of my top ten favorite birthdays. (The ones before I was 20 all blur together, so I can't say definitively.)

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Friday, 10 April 2009

31

Posted on 14:03 by Unknown
When I turned thirty, I felt all empowered. You can't tell me what to do! I'm THIRTY. I tell YOU what to do!

Now that I'm turning thirty-one (tomorrow), I just feel a year closer to middle age. I am no longer refreshingly not-young. Now I am just continuing to get old. The transition from Miss to Ma'am snuck up on me.

Update: It's not this bad.
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Thursday, 9 April 2009

Fourth day of "school"

Posted on 08:47 by Unknown
A little better each day. He was fine until we got to the classroom. He started crying when I took off his coat, but it wasn't the wailing and clutching routine of the past few days. I gave him a big hug and said goodbye. As I walked out the door, the teacher went over to him and said, "K, would you like to read a book with me?" and I heard him sob, "Yes!"

He'll be fine. (So will I.)

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Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Third day of "school"

Posted on 07:36 by Unknown
Some resistance to getting dressed, but after we chased each other around the kitchen for a while he consented to putting a shirt on.

As I got him dressed, he looked at me and said, "Lina house." Like yesterday, he got upset when I told him we were going to school.

"You miss Lina and your friends, don't you?" He stopped crying and nodded. "You want to see them." I thought for a minute. "Maybe we could go visit them tomorrow?" Luckily this made him cry again, because I regretted saying it.

I walked away to put on my shoes and coat. "Hit!" said K, striking out with his fist. "Hit!" He knows he's not supposed to hit people. Instead he was punching the air. "You're MAD!" I said. He frowned and nodded again. "You're mad! You don't want to go to school! You want to go to Lina's house!" I said. "But Lina's house is for babies. You're a big kid now. Big kids go to school."

And he held my hand as we walked down the stairs. Thank you, Dr. Harvey Karp.

As we walked into the toddler room, I told him I'd sing him one song and then leave for work. And I did. More hysterics ensued, but at least we had a cleaner break this time.

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Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Second day of "school"

Posted on 07:07 by Unknown
Morning:
NO to getting out of bed, NO to getting changed, NO to breakfast.
I eventually wrangle him into a fresh diaper and clothes and get him out into the living room.
I pack his lunch and fix both of our breakfasts while he plays across the room. Hey, that wasn't so bad.
When I get within a foot of him, I realize why he's staying far away from me: poo explosion. (K will do anything to get out of a diaper change.)
Post-diaper change, before I'm done washing his clothes and my hands, he's yelling, "BED. BED."
Fine. I stick him in his crib and get ready for work.
NO to getting dressed (again), NO to breakfast, NO to leaving the house. But somehow we manage all these things.
As they say on the Island of Sodor: "Then there was trouble."
"Lina house," he says. (That's Mrs. Daycare.)
"We're going to school," I tell him.
"Lina house. Lina house!" he says, increasingly panicked. He starts thrashing around to stop me from strapping him into the car seat. By the time I have him buckled in, he's crying and screaming, "LINA HOUSE! NO SCHOO! LINA HOUSE!"
When we get there, it's worse than yesterday. He starts to throw himself to the ground, but thinks better of it and attaches himself to me instead. He grabs on tight and sobs, "Mommy! MOMMY! MOMMMMYYYYY!" as if his heart is breaking. I think mine is too. I stick around for a little bit, but then realize I'm prolonging the separation, so I disentangle myself and go. I get to work an hour late with snot on my coat.
Sigh. Just because you're expecting it doesn't make it easier.

Afternoon: Teachers reported that he was happy all day. JW found K chasing little girls around the indoor playground at pickup time, and showed me a construction paper bunny and an Easter card that K made. Think I can convince JW to switch jobs with me?
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Monday, 6 April 2009

First day of "school"

Posted on 11:29 by Unknown
Today K started his new daycare, a.k.a. "school" (they do have a preschool class, but he's in the Toddler II room right below that). We've been bringing him there to play a few times a week, just to get him used to it, and we've been talking to him about leaving Mrs. Daycare's house and going to school enough that I'm pretty sure he understood.

When we walked in, he took his coat off and started playing without a glance in my direction. I stuck around to ask questions, talk to the two teachers in his room, and label everything in the giant bag I brought. (At Mrs. Daycare's house I never had to label anything! And I didn't have to bring sippy cups, or bibs, or lunch, or wipes, or a sheet and blanket. Just diapers and a change of clothes.)

After a while I went over to give him a hug and say goodbye. He started wailing, "MOMMY, MOMMY!" and clutching my arm. The teachers were ignoring both of us. I tried not to prolong the departure too much, and with hugs and kisses and some attempt at comforting words, I headed out the door, leaving him sobbing.

As soon as I left, one of the teachers went over to calm him down and show him some toys. Happily distracted, he settled down into his new environment and even started to make some new friends.

At least that is what I hope happened. JW will get the report this afternoon.

I keep thinking about him, left in a new place with new people after a year and a half (that's three quarters of his life) spent going to the same house every day, with the same three women caring for him. I wonder whether he liked his lunch and how he handled napping on a mat and whether he cooperated for diaper changes. I wonder what he's doing and whether he'll be happy or upset at the end of the day. Will he be excited to go to school tomorrow, or will I have to wrestle him into the car and feel guilty that we made the wrong decision by switching him?

I really hope this is one of those transitions that's tougher for me than it is for him.

Update: First day was a success! He cried for a few more minutes after I left, but was happy the rest of the day and even napped on the mat for an hour and a half. Hooray!

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Sunday, 5 April 2009

Crash

Posted on 19:25 by Unknown
Saturday we passed a group of people on the street who were listening to a woman discuss the best places to buy pistachios in the neighborhood. I nudged JW. "I think that's Ana Sortun!" "Who?" "The chef at Oleana." He rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to know that? You're the only one who knows who these people are." But I was excited. "I think she's giving a culinary tour of OUR neighborhood!" (Which contains lots of little Armenian grocery stores and a few Persian restaurants, and is in fact a fantastic place for food shopping.)

That night I tried to visit Oleana's website to confirm my sighting. "What kind of website is this?" I complained to JW. "It froze my entire computer! And... do you hear that noise?" JW, across the room, did hear the noise. It was a loud grinding and sputtering sound coming from my computer. "Maybe you got a virus," he sneered. (Sneered because he has a Mac.) As the grinding grew louder, this sounded more likely. I powered down my laptop and left it alone.

Today, my computer wouldn't boot up. As a former software engineer, believe me that "wouldn't boot up" here means "catastrophic failure," not "shut it down and try again." After hours spent on the secret Disaster Recovery screens that you have to hit the right keys at exactly the right times to even see, I managed to back up some of my files and had to REFORMAT MY ENTIRE HARD DRIVE. So I get to set up my computer all over again. And JW gets to laugh at me even more for subjecting myself to the joys of Windows.

At least I got to go through the hours of aggravation myself, instead of paying somebody else to do it. And the laptop is still alive, assuming it continues to start up regularly. If it doesn't, I'll add it to the list with both of our cars of "objects we rely upon that sometimes stop working for no apparent reason," and maybe commandeer JW's old iBook.

P.S. - Notice NO LINKS in this post.
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Saturday, 4 April 2009

Weekend baking

Posted on 17:42 by Unknown
Last weekend I made icebox cupcakes. I was intrigued by the icebox cake concept (chocolate wafers + whipped cream, stacked and softened overnight) and needed a dessert to bring to a big party, so it seemed like a good opportunity. For each "cupcake," I used four or five wafers with whipped cream lightly sweetened with confectioner's sugar and spiked with Bailey's. The result tasted a lot like a soft Oreo. It was tasty, but very sweet and I didn't like using the processed cookies. It would have been better and easier (but less transportable) as ice cream sandwiches. Maybe one day, when K is old enough to appreciate such things or for a summer BBQ, I'll make the ice cream sandwiches out of homemade chocolate wafers.

This weekend I made this pear and chocolate cake. I already have a go-to-pear cake, but the pear/chocolate combination sounded too tempting to pass up. Dinner at a friend's house was the perfect opportunity to bake it. (I always offer to bring dessert, which gives me a chance to knock something off my ever-expanding baking to-do list.)

This cake was DELICIOUS. I used just a little less chocolate than called for, on the advice of commenters, and thought it was just the right balance of chocolate and fruit. The brown butter made all the difference (and now I'm no longer intimidated by brown butter -- you just cook it in a pan and stir it once in a while, and suddenly it tastes about twenty times better). In fact, I wonder if the go-to pear cake would also be improved by brown butter.

I was thinking of making some healthy muffins for tomorrow (me, not at all expecting a response: "K, what should I bake?" K, immediately: "Muffins!" ???) but I think I'll save them for later in the week. It's supposed to be nice out tomorrow and maybe we can manage a family brunch out.
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Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Growing up

Posted on 18:43 by Unknown
K is growing into his two-ness. You can have an entire conversation with him now. Example:

K: Sad.
Me: Who's sad?
K: K sad.
Me: Why are you sad?
K: Because... toys over there. (He points to his toys at the far end of the tub, where he can't reach.)

Sometimes he just says "because" and trails off, but I like that he understands the concept of "why" and "because."

He's been surprising me lately with how much he understands. He'll rephrase what I said instead of just repeating it. If I skip a sentence in a book, he'll stop me and fill it in. When he makes me read a story over and over, I can tell he's memorizing it, and he'll start using some of the words in new sentences.

The other day we were looking at pictures of Thomas engines on JW's Mac, which lets you click and drag images. "Look, here's one Gordon," I said, dragging the image, "and now there are two Gordons!" "Now there are two Emilys," he said, when we dragged the picture of Emily. Then he wanted to see Mighty Mac. "Mighty Mac has two faces," I pointed out. I dragged the picture of Mighty Mac. "Now there are four faces!" said K.

It blows my mind that only a few months ago, he was just starting to communicate original thoughts instead of repeating or pointing out things in the room.
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      • Fish pancakes!
      • My work-life balance
      • The female model of law firm practice
      • Lies My Parents Told Me
      • Harnessing the Power of the Mind
      • The most boring children's book ever
      • On the other hand
      • Second kid
      • Birthday recap
      • 31
      • Fourth day of "school"
      • Third day of "school"
      • Second day of "school"
      • First day of "school"
      • Crash
      • Weekend baking
      • Growing up
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    • ►  December (1)
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