More on everyday negotiation

I have had two house-related conversations lately (one with the bank, one with the moving company) that I thought would be contentious, but I didn't even have to pull out my ammunition. All I had to do was explain what I wanted and why, and they agreed.

I'm proud of myself for becoming our family's de facto negotiator. In my younger days, I was terrified to make the simplest customer service call, let alone ask for something extra. I was so timid that I wouldn't even speak up when I saw someone getting my order wrong at a store. Once I ended up with a haircut that I hated because I didn't say anything while she cut off several inches more than I had requested. I didn't say anything after the haircut, either. I just never went back. I knew I was being ridiculous and needed to be more assertive, and I did force myself to become more assertive over time -- it just caused me major anxiety. It never occurred to me until getting negotiation training in law school that there were actual skills I could learn that would help, and that it wasn't just a matter of sucking it up and getting through the anxiety. Now, I wouldn't say that calling up the bank representative and making demands is my favorite activity, but when it's time to do it I feel prepared and confident.

And, this from a friend:

I read your blog post about negotiation a while back and have thought about it a few times since (how I should really do it more often and not just when it's easy).  So today I called up our moving company and negotiated a lower cost.  One phone call = a savings of $500!  You're right, it does feel great.  So: thank you!