Magic Cookie: Pitch Perfect

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Thursday, 12 May 2011

Rude awakening

Posted on 18:21 by Unknown
My post-baby body hasn't bothered me too much. Sure, I knew I had some extra padding, and the number on the scale was about 15 pounds above my pre-baby weight. But I thought I looked fine, and meanwhile was making slow progress toward losing the weight.

Today I made the mistake of trying on one of my pre-baby dresses while looking for an outfit to wear to a friend's wedding. I couldn't zip it up more than halfway. Then I compounded that mistake by going to Marshall's. Not only did I have to face the dressing room mirror, but I tried on jeans three sizes larger than usual because I was dying to wear some non-maternity pants that wouldn't slip down when I walked. They were a little snug.

In the midst of my dressing room trauma, I heard the most passive-aggressive conversation ever between two girls who I will call Annoying Girl and Friend. Annoying Girl kept telling Friend, over and over, that the jeans she was trying on made her look short. She alternated these statements with variations of "I'm just being honest." Friend began responding with monosyllables, then grunts, and then silence. When her honesty was no longer eliciting comment, Annoying Girl switched to, "Now you're mad at me, aren't you? You're mad! I'll just shut up and keep my opinions to myself." Friend: "No. I'm not mad. It's just a pair of jeans." This went on for another few minutes. Then Annoying Girl said, "Don't be mad, it's just that those jeans make you look as short as me." Well done, Annoying Girl! Friend was goaded into replying, "Come on. That's impossible. You're 5'2". I'm 5'9"." Annoying Girl then launched BACK into the "You look short" conversation. This did not end until an older woman interjected herself into the conversation and joked that this is why she always shops alone.
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