Friends again

Yesterday K threw a tantrum about getting dressed and I started getting upset because we were running late. He yelled at me and said he didn't like me and was going to put me in jail, and I replied (not in the gentlest of tones), "I love you, but I feel very frustrated that you won't listen." He looked like he was going to cry and I felt miserable.

I took a deep breath and said, "Let's stop fighting, and be friends again. Okay?"

He paused, then smiled and said, "Okay." We hugged and he asked, "How can I help you not be fustwated?" I told him I know he doesn't like to get ready and leave home in the morning, but that's what we do every weekday. I need him to cooperate and listen because it's important for me to get to work on time and for both of us to have a good start to our day. He agreed and got dressed.

Last night and this morning, every time we got into the slightest disagreement (he wouldn't get in the tub; he asked for cereal with milk and then didn't touch it, one of my pet peeves) he immediately said, "Let's be friends again." I had to laugh. "We are friends. I'm not mad at you. I just need you to listen to me when I tell you to do something."

I'm not always the world's greatest mom. I forget to brush his teeth in the morning and I probably let him eat too much sugar. I often feel happy to leave him at daycare and go to work so I can be an adult for the day. But I feel like JW and I are pretty good models for showing K ways to deal with stress and conflict, and that will serve him well. I guess we'll see with the next kid whether K's relative calmness comes from our parenting or his personality.