The Bosom Buddy

X still has his eyes closed most of the time. Without being close enough to hear and smell us, he couldn't pick his family members out of a lineup. He's not alert enough yet to notice or care when we come near (except when he's hungry). But there is one part of the family that he loves. Actually, two. They are each about the size of his head and when they come near, he reaches out his arms and opens his mouth to greet them. And he nestles his head into them for a warm nap after a meal.

Which gives me an idea for a new baby product. People are always giving babies stuffed bears. But what newborn has ever seen a bear? My idea is for a stuffed toy shaped like something most newborns know and love. Unfortunately, the "My Breast Friend" name is taken, but the manufacturer could acquire the rights to the name "Bosom Buddy". I predict that after being made fun of on talk shows, the product would fly off the shelves, thanks to its two target demographics: attachment parents conflicted about their full-time work schedules, and alpha moms buying the product as gifts for their formula-feeding frenemies. But it would disappear just as quickly a few months later, following public furor over the poorly conceived "Bosom Buddy Deluxe", which at the touch of a button would dispense formula out of the nipple.