The party

It's hard to believe we went forward an hour instead of back. I keep thinking, "No wonder I'm so tired, the clock says 9 but it feels like 10" and then I realize, no, we went the other way.

K's class party was utter chaos. The kids spent two hours yelling and throwing things at each other's heads. K cried a few times because the other kids weren't paying enough attention to him. One other kid cried because a thrown object hit him in the head. It's sort of amazing that nobody else got injured. One kid asked for a soda and told everyone he wished he had brought his iPad so he could show off his new app.

We played an impromptu game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey when the only girl in K's class who showed up said, "When are we going to do something fun? Isn't there a pinata around here?" We had already set up giant Post-Its on the wall with markers, so I helped her draw a donkey and I drew a tail for each kid. The kids each enjoyed their turn, but after a while they got bored of waiting for everyone else to go and most of them returned to pelting each other with whatever objects they could grab, which was fine because I didn't have prizes or anything.

The moms clustered in one corner of the living room, with four moms squeezed together on the couch even though there was plenty of other seating. They did not venture off the couch during the entire party and refused all offers of food and drink, including water and ice cream cake. They talked about their personal trainers. They seemed nice, but not really my crowd. Two moms dropped off their kid and left their phone number. One mom emailed me later to say her kid couldn't come because he has been having behavior issues and has to learn about rewards and consequences.

All the kids preferred the mini-pizzas to the pigs in a blanket. All the grapes disappeared, and surprisingly so did most of the carrots. The kids made fart jokes during snacktime and all of them asked if they could have the next piece of cake. Half the kids gave Lego sets as presents and two of them gave gift cards.

And now we're done until next year. I've already started encouraging K to have a special adventure with a few friends, or Mom or Dad, instead of a big party next year. The lamps weren't broken, just askew. But JW has vowed that we will never again have a kids' party at home.

This week: Doctor's appointments for the kids today (K is 5th percentile in height and 20th in weight; X is 25th in height and 70th in weight, and got one shot which he bore bravely), and parent-teacher conference on Friday. And please, please, no more illnesses or snowstorms, I can't take anymore.