Family time

I woke up at 4 a.m. from a disturbing dream. JW and I had just graduated from college and were taking a long road trip together. I made a joke about how he would propose to me and he told me that he never wanted to marry me. I was shocked and had no idea what to do next. I wondered if I needed to sue him for child support. (Both kids existed somewhere, they just weren't with us.) He acted like everything was fine and was surprised when I cut our road trip short and went home to my parents' house.

I was grateful when I woke up for real the next morning and my husband was next to me and K climbed into our bed for snuggles. Maybe that was the point of the dream.

I spent all day with K yesterday (thanks, Martin Luther King Jr.!) and we played games and told jokes and watched cartoons and did our usual holiday trip on the bus to Harvard Square, where we ate ice cream and checked out the toys in the Curious George store. I hate to admit it, but lately I've been seeing time with K almost as a burden. He demands so much attention and energy. Our occasional days off together remind me how much fun we can have, especially when we can just hang out with no agenda in mind. I feel like I have enough time with K during the week in terms of the number of hours we spend together, and I try not to focus on work and other things that need to get done when I'm with him. But I guess that stress is always lurking. Even though I remember the awful sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn, I'm hoping maternity leave helps me relax a little and not feel like I'm constantly on call or neglecting my duties somewhere.