Magic Cookie: Pitch Perfect

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Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Robotic spy baby

Posted on 11:30 by Unknown
Recently I read an article somewhere that reminisced about a classic home ec assignment: caring for an egg as a baby stand-in. The author confessed that their egg cracked well before the week was up, but added (paraphrase), "Don't worry, your eggs are safe these days. Most high schools now use robotic baby dolls that provide instant feedback if, for instance, their 'parent' holds the bottle at the wrong angle, and transmits the information to a central server. Students' grades reflect the collected information."

I can't be alone in finding this horrifying. First of all, I doubt that MOST high schools use this system, but the ones that do should focus on teaching their kids sex ed and reading skills so they can wait until an appropriate age to have babies and can read "What to Expect" their own selves. Those high schools should then take the money they saved and give it to the neighboring school district, where the school committee spends its time figuring out how to afford new textbooks instead of pondering whether robotic babies are superior to eggs in teen parenting simulations.

School resource issues aside, can you imagine if that kind of data was collected about your interactions with your real baby? If every time you screwed up, a computer somewhere was keeping track? Forget holding the bottle at the wrong angle. Today, while taking the baby out of his carseat and juggling bags on the way into daycare, I bumped his little head right into the doorknob. X wailed for a minute or two while I hugged him and apologized, and then he calmed down and went about his business. He'll never remember that. Thank goodness nobody is recording it in a long list of mommy transgressions and grading my parenting skills.
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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Our daily routine

Posted on 14:31 by Unknown
Our pre-baby daily routine:
5:30 If I'm good, get out of bed and exercise. If not,
6:30 Open my eyes to see K standing next to the bed, staring at me.
6:45-7:15 K watches a TV show while I make his lunch, pack his bag, and get dressed.
7:15-8:30 Breakfast. He takes forever.
8:30-9 Get dressed, play.
9-9:30 Walk to school, drop-off.
9:45-7 p.m. Work.
7:30 Arrive home, wolf down whatever dinner I can grab on the way upstairs, give K a bath and put him to bed.
8:30 Eat a little more, get back to work on my laptop.
11 If I'm lucky, go to bed. First email the partner I'm working with to make sure I'm done for the night.

Our post-baby daily routine, so far:
6:00 Wake up, feed baby.
6:30 K gets up, watches a TV show while I hang out with X and prepare breakfast. JW gets ready and goes to work.
7-7:45 Breakfast. X gets finger food, which he manages to get into his mouth about 2% of the time. K gets told over and over, "Please sit in your seat and eat your breakfast."
7:45-8 Get everybody dressed and ready, head out to school.
8-8:30 Drop-off.
9-5:30 Work.
5-6 JW picks up the kids and fixes dinner.
6-8:30 Have dinner and put both kids to bed. X needs to be actually asleep by 7. K should be asleep by 8, but usually that's when we start reading.
8:30-9:15 Wash the bottles and pump parts, prepare lunches, pack up everything for the next day.
9:15-10:30 Free time. Do work, clean up, go grocery shopping, make phone calls, pay bills, watch TV, read, hang out with JW.
10:30 Collapse. JW feeds X a bottle.

This works great, except for one thing: I've only been back at work for a week and my workload is unusually light. I haven't been staffed on any deals yet and haven't had to bring much work home. If I could always be at work from 9-5:30, life would be easy(ish).

The adjustment has been harder on JW than on me, I think. He went from basically no mandatory childcare or house responsibilities to handling the most difficult time of day with both kids on his own. I keep getting frantic calls from him asking what he should make for dinner. (He also has this thing about actually cooking every night. I don't care if we eat clean-out-the-fridge salad, leftovers, or spaghetti and frozen meatballs for dinner, but he feels like he hasn't done his job.) I've had to be more regimented in the morning and spend time preparing at night, but other than that, returning to work hasn't been as much of an adjustment for me as I expected, thanks to my currently light work schedule. I'm dreading that call assigning me to some huge acquisition.
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Posted in baby x, little boy k, work | No comments

Monday, 19 September 2011

My baby only wears Prada

Posted on 11:30 by Unknown
I got a 35% off coupon code for Gap.com. (If you go to their website, they are having a "surprise sale" with a random amount off each time you visit.) But 35% off a $20 onesie is still way too much money for something my kid is going to poop on in a week. I am always shocked at these designer baby clothes that cost $20 and up for a single item. Then again, both of my kids were champion spitter-uppers, and maybe if you have a sweet little girl who sits quietly and isn't constantly emitting bodily fluids and trying to shove her dress in her mouth, it makes more sense to buy nice clothes.

I went to the consignment store last week to buy X some pants. (Consignment store and yard sales: $3 and under per item of clothing. If a $1 onesie gets hopelessly stained, I throw it out.) I was surprised that a basic pair of printed cotton pants cost the same as a pair of nice khakis, but the owner informed me, "They're ZUTANO." The store only had two pairs of pants in his size, so X is now the proud owner of designer baby pants. Which he will poop on.
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Sunday, 18 September 2011

A Bargain for Frances

Posted on 19:45 by Unknown
We stopped at Food Books on the way home from my parents' house. (Apparently it's really called Traveler Restaurant, but we always refer to it as Food Books because they have a huge sign visible from the highway that says:

Traveler
FOOD
and 
BOOKS 

) This is our regular stop on the way home, and we all look forward to it. While waiting for our food, we go around and look at their selection of books, and K usually chooses a few to bring home. You get three free with your meal.

Today we scored a book called "Be Polite" with Grover on the cover, and "A Bargain for Frances" by Russell Hoban. I am not that crazy about the Frances books, at least not for this age. I like "Bread and Jam for Frances", but I think many of the books have somewhat negative messages that K is not quite ready to process. For instance, I got "A Baby Sister for Frances" before X was born, but we didn't end up reading it because half of it was about how Frances hated her baby sister. The idea that K should hate the new baby or feel jealous never occurred to him, and I didn't want to put the thought in his head. In "A Best Friend for Frances", Frances and her friend Albert and her sister Gloria are all pretty mean to each other, even though it works out at the end. In "Bedtime for Frances", Frances eventually goes to bed to avoid being spanked.

 So I wasn't sure about "A Bargain for Frances." As soon as we started reading it, though, I realized that even though I didn't recall reading any of the Frances books as a kid, I definitely read this one. I didn't remember what happened, but I remembered so many details about the story that I must have read it dozens of times. It's about how Frances' friend tricks her into buying a tea set, and then Frances tricks the friend into buying it back. Like most of the Frances books, all the meanness is resolved in the last few pages. This wasn't enough for K, who dislikes reading about or watching any kind of real-life conflict. He only likes conflict in terms of "bad guys", and hates it on the rare occasion when I try to talk to him about how in real life, there are no "bad guys" and if you shoot someone you can hurt or even kill them. So we will probably pass on "A Bargain for Frances" to someone else.
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Posted in books, little boy k | No comments

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Second week back

Posted on 19:47 by Unknown
Still ramping back up. Right now my workload is approximately one-third of what it usually is. Which is good because on the two nights I've brought work home, I have not been able to concentrate on it for longer than an hour. After an hour my brain turns off and I collapse into bed, praying that my children will both let me sleep until morning.

People keep asking me how I'm adjusting to being back. I have given up trying to have an answer for this. Work will change, home will change. I'll get put on a giant deal and never come home for two weeks. The baby will get sick. I'll think there's no way I can continue doing this. Then the baby will get better and my schedule will lighten up. I'll make it home for dinner every night for a week and think everything is fine and why would I ever give up my awesome job (except, of course, for the billable hours).

For now, I'm trying to stop thinking about what our schedule should be like and what I need to do with my career. When X turns one, I'll reevaluate. Near the end my maternity leave, I became convinced that coming back would be a disaster and I signed up for some legal job search sites. I even sent in applications for a couple of in-house positions. But I think I'm going to focus on my current job for a while and try to make it work. Next year I'll have more perspective on my current situation, and more experience in case I do need a change.
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Friday, 16 September 2011

Pants problem

Posted on 08:13 by Unknown
I am finally at peace with my post-baby body. Probably because I don't have a lot of time to spend contemplating it. I read some bogus study recently about how the amount of time you spend grooming is inversely correlated with your salary. Well, I have literally gotten my morning grooming/dressing routine down to two minutes. That's right, two minutes from spitup-covered pajamas to makeup, office-appropriate clothes, and jewelry. Watch out, Warren Buffett.

Unfortunately, my wardrobe is not cooperating with my newfound self-acceptance. I'm a size larger than I was pre-baby. I have exactly two pairs of pants that fit me right now. I can get by with skirts until the weather gets cooler, but then I'm probably going to have to suck it up and lose the weight. Or buy and hem new pants. I'm not sure which would be more painful.
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Friday, 9 September 2011

First week back

Posted on 17:47 by Unknown
Back to reality. One (short) week of work done.

The good news is that I remembered why I like my job. Interesting work, great people, always something new. Plus my fabulous office and salary, both of which make the late nights and stress a lot more palatable.

The bad news is that with two kids at home, I'm just not sure how much longer I can do this. I know that I'll be less exhausted once X starts sleeping through the night and once I stop pumping, both of which should happen within the next six months. Even so, my hours are completely unpredictable and largely beyond my control. We managed before, but now that we have a baby at home, it seems unfair to make JW handle the double-kid chaos at dinnertime and bedtime every day. And missing bedtime most days, like I was doing pre-baby, means the only time I have with the kids is when I'm hustling them through their morning routines and out the door.

I know we all like to be cheery and optimistic about handling our careers and our families. But I'll be frank. I don't think my practice, where I'm at the beck and call of clients and partners and every day brings a new fire drill, is compatible with having a family. I'm not planning to jump ship immediately, but maybe sooner than I had planned. I'll see how it goes over the coming months.
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Friday, 2 September 2011

Trial separation

Posted on 19:50 by Unknown
X's first two days of daycare went fairly smoothly. They reported that the first day he was happy, the second day he was fussy. Both days, he basically ignored me during both dropoff and pickup. Being reunited with his brother, however, elicited eager stares, huge smiles, and belly laughs.

I missed him. I was always a little annoyed when people used to ask me if I missed K after I went back to work. I'd just smile and say, "No, he's happy and I'm happy," but I'd be thinking, look, I love my kid and I love my husband, but that doesn't mean I want to be attached to either one of them 24-7. But when X was gone, I missed his soft head and cute smile and kicky legs. Maybe because I got to spend longer at home with X. When I went back to work after having K, he was just coming out of the newborn stage and frankly I was glad to get out of the house.

Anyway, I wasn't lonely because K was home with me both days. He missed his first two days of pre-K after being sent home with a fever. Luckily, he responded well to ibuprofen and was in a good mood both days. Today he even played by himself while I got a haircut. (He wasn't really sick today, but wanted to stay home. I warned him that he had to cooperate for all sorts of errands and entertain himself during my haircut, and he lived up to his end of the bargain much better than I expected.)

I was hoping to get a day to take care of work preparation stuff (get through my inbox, get my phone fixed, iron my clothes, do all the outstanding home errands, stock the fridge, etc.) and then a day to relax, but it looks like Tuesday is going to be my get-stuff-done day. And then... back to real life.
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Posted in baby x, little boy k, maternity leave, work | No comments
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