First week back

Back to reality. One (short) week of work done.

The good news is that I remembered why I like my job. Interesting work, great people, always something new. Plus my fabulous office and salary, both of which make the late nights and stress a lot more palatable.

The bad news is that with two kids at home, I'm just not sure how much longer I can do this. I know that I'll be less exhausted once X starts sleeping through the night and once I stop pumping, both of which should happen within the next six months. Even so, my hours are completely unpredictable and largely beyond my control. We managed before, but now that we have a baby at home, it seems unfair to make JW handle the double-kid chaos at dinnertime and bedtime every day. And missing bedtime most days, like I was doing pre-baby, means the only time I have with the kids is when I'm hustling them through their morning routines and out the door.

I know we all like to be cheery and optimistic about handling our careers and our families. But I'll be frank. I don't think my practice, where I'm at the beck and call of clients and partners and every day brings a new fire drill, is compatible with having a family. I'm not planning to jump ship immediately, but maybe sooner than I had planned. I'll see how it goes over the coming months.