Lean In: Chapter 1, The Leadership Ambition Gap

This book is already growing on me. The first two chapters set out everything I have learned over the past few years by painful experience, and then some.

Chapter 1: "The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?"

For many men, the fundamental assumption is that they can have both a successful professional life and a fulfilling personal life. For many women, the assumption is that trying to do both is difficult at best and impossible at worst.

Sandberg starts out by expressing her alarm that "highly trained women are scaling back and dropping out of the workforce in high numbers." Because "[t]he workplace did not evolve to give us the flexibility we needed to fulfill our responsibilities at home," it's not enough to give women equal access to education and entry-level opportunities.

The leadership ambition gap: Sandberg attributes the attrition of women to a "leadership ambition gap." From a young age, studies show that girls and women say they don't necessarily want to be in positions of power. Sandberg argues that girls are socialized from birth to be pretty, nice, and nurturing, while boys are encouraged to be confident and ambitious. She talks about being labeled as "bossy" as a child, and how she still feels a little ashamed when her family jokes about how she used to spend her time "organizing shows that she could direct and clubs that she could run." Sandberg doesn't explicitly say this, but I couldn't help thinking that a boy who exhibited similar behaviors would be praised as a natural leader. The rest of the chapter is devoted to fleshing out this idea that both men and women tend to think women should not be leaders.

Stereotype threat: Social scientists refer to "stereotype threat" as the tendency to conform to negative stereotypes about yourself that you are aware of. The stereotype of the working mother is a stressed-out woman who either neglects her job or her kids, or is inadequate at both. As a result, women feel they have no good choices:

They are told over and over that they have to choose, because if they try to do too much, they'll be harried and unhappy. Framing the issue as "work-life balance" -- as if the two were diametrically opposed -- practically ensures work will lose out. Who would ever choose work over life?

Solutions: We need more positive portrayals of women as working mothers. Women should stop being afraid of not living up to the female stereotype. We need to aim high and aspire to lead.