Lean In: Chapter 10, Let's Start Talking About It, and Chapter 11, Working Together Toward Equality

Home stretch! The last two chapters wrap up the ideas presented in the rest of the book and conclude with a call to action, saying men and women must work together to achieve equality for everyone.

Chapter 10: Let's Start Talking About It

Most people would agree that gender bias exists... in others. We, however, would never be swayed by such superficial and unenlightened opinions. Except we are. Our preconceived notions about masculinity and femininity influence how we interact with and evaluate colleagues in the workplace.

Let's face it, we are constantly confronted with gender issues in the workplace and everywhere else, as much as we like to pretend that everything is fair and equal. And we ALL, men and women, have these gender roles firmly internalized, as much as we want to believe that men and women are 100% equal. So, as awkward as it is, we need to discuss these issues openly in order to deal with them. The more women try to fit in and not call attention to their gender, the more things stay the same.

Moreover, the more we all try to pretend we're not biased, the less conscious we are of behaviors that promote inequality. Endless studies support this statement, including one similar to the Heidi/Howard study where both men and women subjects not only favored the male candidate to the female one when the two had identical resumes, but actually shifted the hiring criteria in favor of the male applicant and away from the female one. For instance, if the resume showed a strong educational background, respondents said it was a critical hiring criterion when the applicant was a man, but that it wasn't important when the applicant was a woman.

In another study, men with SAHM wives viewed the presence of women in the workplace less favorably then men with wives who worked, and were less likely to promote women -- even though these men undoubtedly don't think of themselves as being biased, and are more likely to engage in "benevolent sexism," including saying that women are superior to men in areas like moral reasoning ("which makes them better equipped to raise children -- and perhaps less equipped to succeed in business").

Recent changes at Harvard Business School demonstrate the power of being conscious of bias. The new dean of HBS set out to close the performance gap between American men, on one hand, and women and international students, on the other hand. By making relatively minor changes, including redefining "leadership" as "making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence," assigning projects for predetermined small groups, and adding a year-long field course, the performance gap virtually disappeared in only two years. All students, including American men, reported higher levels of satisfaction.

Sandberg discusses her famous TED talk. Colleagues cautioned her not to talk about gender issues publicly lest she get pigeonholed. But the response from both women and men was so strong and so positive that she knew she was on the right track. She heard from leaders who made small changes to their behaviors to make their organizations more gender-neutral, like the professor of medicine who started calling on male and female students evenly instead of waiting for raised hands, or the executive who points out in meetings when men interrupt women or take credit for their ideas. Sandberg realizes that she's in a position of power and that it's difficult for more junior women -- and especially for men at any level -- to raise gender issues, so she embraces making this "her thing."

Chapter 11: Working Together Toward Equality

Today, despite all the gains we have made, neither men or women have real choice. Until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don't have real choice. And until men are fully respected for contributing inside the home, they don't have real choice either.

We all have to work together to obtain true equality. Men and women need to support each other so that they can be equals both at work and at home. And women need to ditch the mommy wars and support each other, although we shouldn't expect support from every individual woman in our lives. As more women come into power, the actions of any individual woman won't be seen as representing all of womankind, because it will be clear that these are all just people. Instead of "women CEOs," they will just be CEOs. Instead of a "woman president," she will just be the president. Sandberg says it's time. We can achieve this in our generation if we all work together and lean in.

The very last page encourages readers to join the Lean In online community and to form "Lean In Circles," small groups that support each other in leaning in.

That's all, folks! What did you think?